Theresa my true love

By: RichDs

.... Theresa and I ventured to WalMart© the other day. Every visit I buy at least 3 movies, ( you can get some dandies for 6.99 to 9.99 ) I find my movies, pay for them and then I locate Theresa so I can drop off my purchases in the shopping cart.

Next I am off for a walk about to do the old man thing, ( shuffle around, lookin'. ) I remember that I needed to get a new filter and pump for the fish tank.. and to the fish stuff I go. Lookin', lookin' for a good deal, never once thinking that I was drawing the attention of the, " eye in the sky, " do-daa's that are plastered all over the ceiling, ( and are manned by self-important idiots. )

I have the pump and again, I am looking for Theresa... So I walk up this way, and back that way, around over here and there... trying to spy Theresa amongst all of the clothes.. And the eye in the sky watched. My hip and knee were really hurting something fierce and was beginning to make me sweat with the exertion of the whole ordeal. ( I suffer from the disease, Osteonecrosis= Bone Death and must use the support of a cane when I walk. )

" There is Theresa at last ! " And I deposit the pump with her, pull out my wallet to give her the money when I notice that there is four Walmart© employees milling around behind us and four more, covering the exits.... and all eyes were on us.

This crapp just burns my butt, I have always had this problem. Always been singled out as suspicious. One time I was driving the shop truck, on my way to the jobsite when a state patrol unit went sliding past me on the highway. As the officer, ( female ) looked at me, I smiled and waved...... " BAMM-O, " on comes the lights and she pulls me over telling me the reason was, "she didn't see my seat belt. " The officer kept me there besides the road for 30 minutes while she ran my name, over and over trying to find a hit. She was sooo sure I had done something, ( I guess an honest citizen doesn't smile or wave. )

It's bad enough that the cops, profile me but it is a slap in the face when some self important moron employed by Walmart decides that Theresa and I are there not to shop, but to steal instead !!

I am 49 years old, visibly crippled. You can't miss my cane or the way I drag my right foot, we dress nice, we don't look like bums yet they assume I am going to sprint out of the store with my fish pump under arm ?!

Not all WalMarts© are created equal. The Shelton store where we normally go is quite friendly. This day though it was late and we decided to go to the Port Orchard branch and save about 4 miles in distance.

My Nuttinbutt-Attitude Moral to this tirade is thus : " Port Orchard WalMart© is NuttinButtCrapp ...... Shelton Rulesz !! "


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The tune is, The Lonely Bull by Herb Alphert© and The Tijuana Brass, Thanks to the really cool Thrift Store in Shelton Washington, I now own just about every record these guys made.